Do you recall the last time you turned your attention toward your Self? Does the idea of “inner space” have meaning for you? ‘The word “sacred”?
I’m sitting down to these wonderings on a day when my own inner space feels like Bilbo’s hobbit hole. It’s the night before a life-altering quest is set to commence, and I’ve been overrun with noisy, messy, bossy, hungry dwarves. They all seem to know something I don’t. They’re unbothered by the beauty and dangers and transformation that lie just outside my tidy hobbit hole door. They’ve charged the entryway, hunkered down at the kitchen table, and they’re eating every scrap of food I have in the house.
This inner space does not feel sacred. It just feels…feel-y. Disrupted. So, so messy.
Sacred – super holy and religious?
What happens in you when you hear the word “sacred”? Notice what’s skittered through your mind as you read the word. Pay attention to the feelings that arise in you, in your body.
The sacred and the holy have needed some (sometimes painful, always disruptive) unpacking and re-packing in my past few years as I revisit my own understanding of “God,” “belief,” and what it means to experience the “divine.” Much of my life I filtered those words through a moral code, and through a particular understanding of Christian texts. These codes and texts assured me of my innate flaws. My desperate need for fixing.
For me, now, the word is an experience of nature, people, or the thing that is happening right now as “uncorrupted.” Or, maybe, “by design.” It could be something like, “aligned with who I am designed to Be when I am living as my truest Self.”
Rather than an undefiled state that is arrived at via good behavior or violence to another, it is about a created state. A Way of Being. An intrinsic value. And, as one of my mentors would name it, an “Essential Goodness.”
What if you’re not flawed?
When we’re in the grip of emotion, it can feel a lot like we’re out of control in our own interior life. Those dwarves really do a number on my well-managed inner hobbit hole! Emotions are complex. They run deep. They have roots in family trauma, personal violation, really awful circumstances. It seems counter-intuitive to invite them into the warm, safe dining hall of our lives — to welcome them to settle at the table of our deepest Self. The place where Original Love abides.
Our sacred inner space.
That unalterably loving and unsullied space at the core of each of us. A safe, non-judgmental place of welcome and nurture. The Truest part of who we are. That part of our Person that hasn’t altered itself to please or appease. There are no masks in our sacred inner space: it is the place in you…in me…that knows that we are Good.
When lifeache and all of its subtle and violent cares crash around in our disquieted hearts and minds, it can seem like we do not house a sacred inner anything! We feel broken. Flawed. Messed up. So.messed.up.
What if we are not flawed? What if we’re just wounded? And what if our wounds are actually aids in drawing us ever more deeply into the space within that is home to our original Way: Love. Goodness.
What would it be like to tend to the sacred inner space that is You? Even to consider that the disruptors and emotional upheaval of your right now could be capably tended to by that deeply loving core in you?
However you might interact with the idea of your own inner space, acknowledging that it is real and present to you is a movement toward wholeness. There is a gentleness in even accepting that such depth and self-compassion might be at the heart of our interior life.
Knowing such is liberating. Interacting with our sacred inner space is transformative!
It is in that space that we grow in understanding that our hard work, our being-better-doing-better, getting-it-all-right Effort may be less critical than we’d thought. We can lay that down and simply participate with what Is.
On those days when our insides feel like a beleaguered hobbit’s dining hall overrun with the demanding dwarves of grief and loneliness and not-enough-ness we might begin to engage with that deeper Self, that holy inner space that invites healing, safety, and companioning.
If you’re looking for a companion in this, spiritual therapy/direction may be an option. Reach out to us via our contact page, Face Book, or Instagram. Or, explore local options for support in the care of your own soul.